Dating Again, On Top of It All

woman on date

woman on dateAre you single? Divorced? Widowed?  Is your life full of career, children, friends, church and just the usual everyday stuff?  Do you feel like you would really like to date, but cannot imagine where that will fit into your already hectic life?

Want to know how to get started?  Well, first, like most parts of our lives, you have to ask yourself what it is you want from dating.  Are you after a one time date for a special event?  A person to be friends with and go out on a date with occasionally or are you interested in dating someone with the goal of eventually entering into a relationship with that person? You have to know what you want from dating and go after that or you will never get what you want. Whatever your dating “goal” is, you still have to find the time and energy to make it happen. So, begin by taking baby steps.

The Before: Carve out a little time every day to prepare for dating.  Color the grey out of your hair.  Sit down in the salon long enough to get that mani/pedi you have been putting off. Make sure you have one casual and one dressy outfit ready to go. Clothes, shoes, handbag, lingerie (For your eyes only of course, but wearing it helps you feel confident and attractive), all of it.  Haven’t updated your makeup in ten years of more? A trip to ULTA.com or Sephora may be necessary. By carving out a little time to prepare for dating each day, you will begin to easily make time in your schedule for an actual date. Start with small blocks of time and build from there.

The Search: I won’t get too much into finding someone to date. Most of us who are not dating have options, we are just choosing not to take them. But, I will say that if you feel you have no options, start paying more attention to the people around you who are paying attention to you. Often when we are not interested in dating, we put a blinder over our eyes which allows us to ignore what would usually be obvious. Remove the blinders, pray for guidance in choosing a date and get out there!

The During: You carved out time in your schedule; you are dressed to impress and ready to go on your date.  The only steadfast rule is – be you.  You will find that if you will just be yourself, it will take a lot of the nervousness out of the date itself.  Be true to yourself and be open to allowing your date to be himself.

The After: Always say thank you and be polite, even if the night didn’t go as you had hoped. Don’t get discouraged but also, don’t go on a dating binge either. Allow yourself some time to think about each person you met and how you interacted with them. If things went well, don’t rush. Remember that fools rush in. Take your time and enjoy the ride.

By Emmie Graham

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