Blocks to Your Happiness Part 2: Demotivation


Demotivated Woman

Hopefully, you have already read the introduction to my discussion on how our bodies often give us warning signs that there is a spiritual, emotional or psychological block that may be affecting us. If not, click the link to check out the first two articles, Find Personal and Professional Peace by Identifying Your Bodies Warning Signals of Blocks Affecting Your Happiness and Blocks to Your Happiness Part 1: Refusal to Forgive.

My definition for demotivation is not being able (for some reason) to fully commit yourself to an act, even though you may want to and may have done so in the past.  When I decided to write my book, She’s About Business: A Business Guide for the Woman Who Needs a Little Know How and A lot of Motivation to Start Her Business, I was inspired because I realized how many women never get their businesses off the ground because they are demotivated. Motivation is a key component to just about everything you’ll ever want to accomplish in your life. From starting a business, to making a marriage or relationship work, without being motivated to take action, most attempts will fail.

We’ve all felt the sting of demotivation before and nothing can kill a plan like having a motivational block. The tricky part of dealing with a lack or loss of motivation is understanding what is causing it. Each time our bodies give us the warning signals (procrastination, decreased productivity, lack of confidence, loss of interest in work that you used to love, don’t care attitude) that we are feeling demotivated, we automatically think that the cause is the same as it was the last time we felt demotivated. The truth is, there are many different causes of demotivation and if you don’t understand and address each cause with the proper strategy, it will be difficult for you to move forward. Here are just a few of the top causes of demotivation and strategies to help you overcome them.

Causes of Demotivation

Fear. This is a big one. Whether it’s fear of success or fear of failure, fear can stop you in your tracks each and every time it rears its ugly head. Although most of us know the dangers of living in fear, it can still be difficult to know when fear is demotivating us. Again, our bodies show us the signs, we just have to listen. Often, when we are fearful of a situation, we will do other small things that lead up to the big thing, but find excuses not to take that final step. An example of this is picking a business name, registering it and even filing for a business license but never actually opening the business.

To overcome demotivating fear, it’s a good idea to sit down and actually write out why you are afraid and figure out which fears are actually worthy of concern and which ones are based on your imagination. Then, dismiss the imaginary ones and find solutions for the ones that are worthy of concern. For instance, if your fear is not being good enough at your trade to open your business, and your concern is a valid one, then take a class or read books on the subject until you are comfortable with your level of knowledge.

Grieving or Sorrow from a loss. For various reasons, many people don’t like admitting that they are grieving. When there is denial about grief or sorrow, there is not an opportunity to heal it. Unattended to, grief can become demotivating. Grief isn’t only about the death of a loved one. Grief can be due to the loss of a relationship, job, way of life or idea that was held in high regard.
Many people suffer grief when they let go of a lifelong dream that they have held onto, but that now seems more evident to be out of reach because of their life choices or situations. This leads them to become demotivated to do anything more.

To overcome demotivation grief or sorrow, you have to allow yourself the time to heal. The healing process actually takes a lot of work both mentally and physically so, take good care of your body during this time, making sleep, plenty of water and eating right priorities. Counseling may also be necessary to deal with this type of grief. If you are a believer, it is also a good idea to get in touch with your spiritual self and connect with God to seek His guidance and support. Keep a journal and keep track of your feelings paying close attention to the days you feel your worse and the days when you feel your best. Make note of the underlying thoughts or events that triggered your mood. And lastly, find someone who you can talk to who won’t judge but who will be honest with you. Again, a counselor may work as a sounding board or a close friend or relative.

Not being clear about what you truly want. We often mix up what we truly want with what others want for us or for themselves. Have you ever looked to someone else who has been successful at something and tried to emulate their process? That’s not a bad idea, but the danger is that we can often lose site of the way that is best for us in our effort to reproduce something that was meant for someone else. Sure you may want something similar, but the way of getting there could be totally different. You can become demotivated by trying to do something simply because it’s a good idea or because it worked for someone else, but is not something that you actually want to do.

To overcome being demotivated by not being clear about what you truly want, simply be honest with yourself and everyone else about your true desires for your life or business. Don’t try to be something that you’re not. Articulate want you want very clearly and actually put it in writing. Study it and make sure that it remains in line with where you want to go. It’s okay to tweak it from time to time as long as it remains true to what you want at any given period. Realize that this is your story and you can write it differently than anyone else’s. I believe that when we are truly honest about what we want, we are closest to our true purpose.


Image courtesy of  [Witthaya Phonsawa] at

Diathe Garnes- The Uplifting Woman

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