Blocks to Your Happiness Part 1: Refusal to Forgive

Stressed Woman-Unforgiveness

Stressed Woman-Unforgiveness

Hopefully, you have already read the introduction to my discussion on how our bodies often give us warning signs that there is a spiritual, emotional or psychological block that may be affecting us. If not, click the purple link to check out the intro article, Find Personal and Professional Peace by Identifying Your Bodies Warning Signals of Blocks Affecting Your Happiness.

Refusal to forgive. I love talking about forgiveness because I know first hand the dangers of a refusal to forgive and want to help as many people as possible avoid them. I used to be really good at not forgiving and therefore, for a long time I remained stuck in a position where insurmountable blocks kept me from living the life that I wanted. Choosing not to forgive comes with many negative side effects and stressors that we should all want to avoid. But, what exactly does it mean to forgive? Many people don’t understand it let alone really understand how to do it.

“Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness” (Forgiveness Definition, 2015). Forgiveness isn’t some magical thing that happens simply because we say the words, “I forgive you”. Unlike many would lead you to believe, a willingness to forgive doesn’t make us automatically forget what happened either. Forgiveness is a conscious choice that we make to simply let go of negative feelings and emotions and open a door for new ones to enter into that space in regards to a person or group of people.

Just like it’s important to understand what forgiveness is, it’s also important to understand what it’s not. How many times have you had someone whom you have forgiven, do a whole new thing to hurt you yet again? When you call them out on the new thing, they accuse you of not having forgiven them for the first thing. It’s actually quite laughably really but many of us fall for it. “You haven’t truly forgiven me if you haven’t forgotten it” they say. They may even accuse you of being a hypocrite and question your values and morals as a person, which can cause you to be even more confused about forgiveness. Well, this is a form of manipulation on their part and once you truly understand forgiveness you will never fall for it again. You may choose to forgive the same person over and over again but it doesn’t mean that you are to excuse or downplay the next offense. Forgiveness also does not mean that you have to continue on with this person in your life at all. Regardless of how hard they try to convince you that your walking away means that you have not forgiven them, some people are just not meant to be in your life especially if they are not willing to do better and be better themselves. Remember, most people who go around constantly hurting others are masters at manipulation and keeping a person like this in your life will constantly bring you pain.

How Refusal to Forgive Hurts You

When you don’t forgive, it causes all kinds of turmoil in your life that can lead to many blocks to your happiness and success. There are physical, spiritual, emotional, and social warning signals that your body gives to let you know that you are dealing with unforgiveness. Many people suffer from high blood pressure (of course there are many other factors for this disease), loss of faith in God and people, sadness or depression and multiple broken relationships all because of a refusal to forgive. Other warning signals are being angry all the time for unknown reasons, feeling like the world is against you and isolating  yourself from friends and family. If you see the signs that unforgiveness is blocking your blessings and your peace, take action now before it’s too late! Most of us were not taught how to forgive but not only does God say that it’s possible to live the life of a forgiver, but He says that we should do it and I believe that He gives us the strength to walk in forgiveness each day. Trust me, I know that forgiving isn’t always easy, but many of the victims of unforgiveness often turn to substance abuse and other harmful habits to deal with the side effects. So, at least making an attempt at forgiving is so much easier than allowing your symptoms to take you down a dark road. Forgiveness is like many other things in life, the more you do it, the easier it gets.


Reference of quote

Forgiveness Definition. (2015). Retrieved from

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Diathe Garnes- The Uplifting Woman

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