5 Ways to Know if You’re Terrified of a Good Man

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Being afraid of a good man is a ludicrous idea right? But, crazy or not, many women are afraid to commit to a genuinely good man. This couldn’t be you…could it? Well, here are 5 signs that will let you know if it is. As if you didn’t know already.

Sign 1- You constantly tell yourself that there are no good men out there: The reason you do this is because it gives you an excuse not to keep hoping and believing that there are good men left in this world. More over, you can let go of the thought that there is a man who was created just for you. Although this should be a comforting thought, every time you meet someone who turns out to clearly not have been made for you, or any one else for that matter, you get disappointed and it hurts. So, if you tell yourself that there are no good men, you avoid the disappointment and pain all together. I know that telling yourself this lie makes you feel better, but it’s time to let it go and open your heart to the truth that there are good men out there and there is one just for you.

Sign 2- You make being independent a significant part of your identity and couldn’t imagine you without that identity: There is a bit of pride that comes with the knowledge that everyone knows that you can take care of yourself; and, if they don’t know it, you don’t mind telling them. God forbid it if you ever actually depended on a man. That thought actually makes you shutter and put on your ugly face. Well, unfortunately, this is a sign that you are scared to death of a good man. There is nothing wrong with being able to take care of yourself. Many of us have had to do it for a long time. But, don’t be so tied to that idea that it begins to define who you are. There is no room in a good relationship for two independent people. So, which do you want more, your independence, or your good man? You choose.

Sign 3- You get “bored” with relationships that seem easy or are drama free: So, the last guy that you dated didn’t get mad if you went out with your friends or didn’t call him after work at the right time everyday. He also didn’t go off if another man looked at you. He actually saw it as a compliment to you and to him. He was attentive and wanted to do things with you….But, you told yourself and everyone else that you were just not that into him. He bored you and you needed a little more excitement in your life. Hmmm, really? More than likely, the truth is that he didn’t bore you, but he scared you. You couldn’t believe that it was real and you wanted out before it all came crashing down around you and you got hurt…again. For some people going through drama in a relationship is so familiar to them that they actually begin to relate the drama to feelings of love. With thoughts, like he gets jealous because he loves me or he doesn’t care about me if he doesn’t get mad if another man shows me attention. In my opinion, there should be a new law that states that if you’re over the age of say, twenty one, then drama is illegal. Okay, maybe that’s going too far because half the people we know would be in jail (maybe we would even spend a few days in there ourselves). But seriously, we are in very trying times right now and we all should be over the need for drama. Think of it this way. The need for drama is like an abused person abusing someone else. You been put through it and now you think it’s the only way. Get over it, and position yourself so that your good man will find you and know that you are his good thing.

Sign 4- You don’t think you need to change or you’re too afraid to try: You are set in your ways and are afraid that a good man will require you to become a better woman. It’s true that we shouldn’t have to change for a relationship, but it’s also true that  we may need to and should be willing to in order to have the best relationship possible. Remember that change is growth and we have compromised and made changes for far less. As long as the good man in your life is willing to change in growth also and is asking you to make positive changes, remember that no one is perfect and we could all stand to change some things about ourselves. Don’t take it as an insult, but accept it as a challenge.

Sign 5- You worry about what other people think about the image of your significant other:  Even if you meet someone who you like, you second guess moving forward and getting to know him because he doesn’t fit the image of the men that people are used to seeing you with. There are many people who may say that he is beneath you or not your type, but remember that many of them will move forward with men who you may not have seen them with. And, there are plenty of stories of people who have advised other friends or family members not to date men simply because they had their eye on them for themselves. Just something to think about.  The bottom line is if the person is truly a good man, don’t let someone else talk you out of getting to know him. If they can, it’s only because your fear allows them to.









Image courtesy of:http://www.lilbabycakes.com/blog/top-reasons-women-fear-childbirth%E2%80%A6part-1/


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